Well, you’ll get a glimpse of me in this slideshow, wearing my mask and showing my age. After this photo, I went through an epiphany of sorts and change, which has been good. I chopped off my hair (something I’ve been prone to doing as I go through distinct changes in my life) (I think its an influence from NDN spirit transference). Mourn loss, mourn the old way, cut off the hair as it carries memories that we do not want to get nostalgic about. So I also got myself some hair dye, and will be coloring to my original color soon.
As you can see, I’ve made some progress. I haven’t touched wood, not really, not creatively, since I carved the heart out of cherry wood. On that project I lost the tip of my finger, the nail, and it took over a year to heal the sensitivity in the finger tip bone. So, my guess, with me being PTSD prone, is that I was just too damned scared to try again. BUT..life will change you, and in my present change, wood came back. Not in the same way, but in its own way.
So i’m using the scroll saw, and as I went along, I realized I wanted to try relief carving in the pieces I was cutting. I had already given wood burning a go, as you can see in my first finished project hanging on my door. But that’s not enough. I want to work on skill, and skill is not superficial. So today I finished the scroll work on the several pieces I intend to make.
Now I’ll be working with hand tools, coping and jewelers saws, files, carving knives, whatever I have (which I have a goodly supply of as tools go), and get into it.
Since I graduated college (and college nearly KILLED my spirit and soul), I went immediately into the caretaking of my mom’s wellness of mind, soul and spirit, while my dad went into his dying stage, so I didn’t get to get into my own life. Then too, I was still under the depression that comes of trying to please others. I have lived my whole life that way, trying to please others, to be liked, to count as worthy, and in that I never found myself. So I’m doing that now. And one thing I know about me, is I have talent, but it needs honed, and it needs to be made into skill. That means doing it, and telling the world and those good intention directors of how I should live my life, will have to f-off and concern themselves with their own stuff. I’m busy.
And I am busy, and I’m going to love it and I’m loving it. I”ve gone fishing, and I want the big one. So I’ll be patient and do good work.