Okay…I have an adenoma in my head, in the space around the pituitary. It may NOT be cancer. I’m down with that.
My creative flow is blocked and stalled…has been since my Dad went on the death path and my sibling began vomiting hateful remarks at me. And since the last ‘lover’ of my life assumed me to be a fool that would accept polygamy.
JESUS!!! Humans can be SO stupid! Myself included…past tense.
I DO want to create, but have visual issues and headache issues…and stress…so I’m very sorry (really I am, for ME) that I’m not creating, but what do I express? Fear? Tumors? …meh…
A new love waits for me as my muse. I have not met it yet, and it is NOT a person, it is a spirit. A LOVING spirit. It will come, it has given me glimpses of hope, and told me not to despair. This all…all this JUNK attached to me from others expectations..?
It will fall off like leaves on a tree in the fall. Or feathers from the molting Eagle that becomes the Phoenix. I will burn that shit off and fly again.
But right now…I miss my creativity. Yet in the dark season, in the earth year, or the soul of the individual, is the time to heal and rest, and it must be respected.