are my sons.
I managed, despite my flawed, neurotic, dissociated personality, to raise them well enough to have not destroyed their self esteem or loving hearts. Yay me. But moreso, yay them! My sons, you make me proud. I was not a great parent, I was a lousy support system, but it was all based on being raised ignorant.
That changed with education, where I found out I’m NOT ignorant, in fact I’m quite intelligent (as are my sons), I just needed to learn that reality WAS truly reality. Not the projections of those that chose to murder my soul with hate and ignorance. (Get thee behind me low spirit).
We vibe where we do our best, living on energy in the good groove of creative life. I love it there, but I can get bogged down with the bricks and stones and curses put on me by the projection of anger and hate from others. Some think ‘indifference’ is being ‘cool’, but it’s not, its being dead and unresponsive and incapable of love. Its hate in its most bland and sickening form, and it weighs like a concrete slab holding you down if you HAVE to participate in its choice to kill you for its own pleasure.
Some people love to murder the souls of others because it makes them feel in control and powerful.
My sons will NEVER let anyone do that to them. I was born to it. I could not escape it, it was put on my soul as my karmic lesson in this life, it was part of the plan of the Creator to pull me in close to the truth of the love of the Holy Spirit. So, despite the pain and hurt (which when it comes to indifference is constant and endless), I am pleased to have been selected for a unique and perfect love.
That love provided me with sons that are capable of dealing with the indifferent spirit of hatred and leashing it, collaring it, and laughing at its murderous nature. They will vanquish it, and it will be good for those that must need set free from it. I am set free. I don’t have to go there anymore. Thank you, Father, for the angels of my sons, who don’t see themselves as such, but I know better.
As freedom is granted and the yoke of imprisonment is let up, as the cement slabs and bricks of indifference and cruelty are put aside and behind, as the low spirit of sadism is cast off, I find myself floating aloft, stretching my wings….trying again … to live…and knowing my efforts are no longer needed to protect anyone from the suffering of their karma, no longer do I need to work as a peacekeeper or mediator for those that hunger for the possession of things and money that are a legacy. I am freed … after 50 plus years….
Aaaaahhhh….she breathes…her chest and heart expand…her back stretches…
she spends hours in music and filing metal for works of beauty
she will return to the painting and begin the gathering up of the fragmented parts of her soul that were murdered by indifference…
and all of it, will be because of the grace and mercy of the love of the Father in Heaven, the healing power of the Christ, and the instruction and love of the Holy Spirit…
Truly, love begets love. I was blessed enough in my suffering times to have enough love to have sons that are made of love.
Today I will see my Granddaughter and her mom. Her name is Liberty. How great is it that a grandma can say her granddaughters are named for wisdom and freedom??? Really awesome..!
I will be making her and her mom a spoon ring. I don’t have a shop, or the skill to cast metal, but I can recycle metal and cut and file and polish it…and I can and will at some point do some soldering, but right now…its just about the groove of freedom to be myself, set free from indifference and imprisonment to hatred…yep..
love is all that matters